I Do "Everything" and You Do "Nothing"

In couples therapy, I often hear stories of the wife being resentful and feeling as if she does "everything" herself around the house and with the kids. However, it is often true, the man feels as if he does help, but it goes unrecognized. The problem is usually a simple miscommunication and lack of understanding the needs of the other person. Take some time where each spouse writes their perceived contributions to house and kids. Then make another list of the areas were each would like more help. Then compare. Quite often, the lists are similar, but we are too busy blaming and arguing over what is not done. Then it is more difficult to take the time to come together to see what is working. It is possible this simple task can bring both partners back to working alongside each other instead of against.

Amy Wine, M.A., LPC-Intern, LMFT-A