You are Enough
I wrote the blog earlier in the week. I wanted to talk about getting organized and inspiring new back to school goals. However, I read the blog over and over and it did not feel right. It wasn’t real and it felt like a lie… To be honest, that morning I woke up and just felt like I was failing in every aspect of my life. To be good at my job, I wasn’t living up to my expectations as a parent; to be a good wife meant sacrificing time with my children or friends, and so on. How could I talk about starting the school year off with success when I just felt like a failure in that moment? As I wiped tears from my face, I told myself “I am enough.”
You are enough. Repeat that to yourself. It does not always feel that way. Sometimes it feels like you are failing. Not just failing in one place, but in every place because each one of us is stretched thin. We have the myth that having it all means being perfect at it all. Whether you are a stay at home parent or working outside the home, the fact is we are busier than ever right now. Then we have social media always showing us how seemingly perfect other families are. It does not matter, you are enough.
I realized a long time ago that to “have it all” meant to have it all with some adjustments. To be able to survive, means that you have to prioritize. For me, that means that we do not have family dinners every night, I work too much some days, and I am often a bad friend. Even worse, my football season tickets have been collecting dust for a couple years. Instead, I try to focus on my work during the work week, but I make it a point to spend 2 full days on the weekend without distractions and without work to spend quality time with my children. As a counselor, I have read the studies, and I know that quality time is more important than quantity time spent with children. Of course, it would be nice to get 7 full days of quality time, but I am enough and I can prioritize. For others, this is not their priority. It might be that they aspire to have 5 family meals together because they know the importance of eating together as a family and the bond that forms. It could be that the family eats all home cooked healthy meals because they know it can help with all aspects of health, or it could be the goal to attend every sporting event of their child, or even be involved in the PTA. Whatever your priority is strive for it and make it happen. Think of 5 things that are “musts” and do not compromise on those things.
Everyone of us needs to decide what our priorities are this school year. Otherwise, we will end up feeling like we are failing in all aspects of our life. On the bad days, repeat to yourself, I am enough, and if you say it enough, you will believe it.
Amy Rollo, M.A., LSSP, LPC